This is a playlist derived from songs from my childhood CD collection. These are the songs that made me, the songs I listened to thousands of times as a tween, teen, and very young adult. I mean thousands. I always had my headphones in, I slept with music playing lightly in the background so I could shut off my own brain with the songs I knew by heart, and I used to spend a lot of time hiding with music. These bands allowed me to explore my inner reality, while also saving me from the times reality was just too hard, and all I felt was alone.
So 2020 is the perfect time for me to revisit my collection of CDs because in a lot of ways I've reverted to the same isolated, lonely, emotional human I was when I first found these songs. It also humbles me because while I've done a lot of work on myself there's still a lot I avoid even as an adult. There's still a lot of growing to do, but you truly never stop growing even when you start shrinking.
Playlist
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lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by Panic! At The Disco on A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (Fueled By Ramen) PATD was my favorite band from the 8th to 11th grade.
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Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)? by Buzzcocks on Love Bites (Domino) -
guilty pleasures by Cobra Starship on Viva La Cobra (Fueled by Ramen) -
Happy by Best Coast on Crazy For You (Mexican Summer) -
The Happiest Place On Earth by Desaparecidos on Read Music Speak Spanish (Saddle Creek) -
the future freaks me out by Motion City Soundtrack on i am the movie (Epitaph Records) -
Ozma by Shannon and the Clams on Dreams In The Rathouse (Hardly Art) Local -
moving pictures by The Cribs on Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever (Warner Bros.) -
quarantine by phantom planet on raise the dead (fueled by ramen) -
times are bad by adam green on garfield (rough trade) -
cry uncle (single version) by P.S. Eliot on 2007 - 2011 (Don Giovanni Records) -
Change is Hard by She & Him on Volume One (Merge) -
Lies by Marina and the Diamonds on Electra Heart (679 Recordings) -
Automatic Eyes by The Academy is... on Fast Times At Barrington High (Fueled by Ramen) -
I Don't Think It's Funny by Bee Gees on Best Of (Warner Music) -
That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) by Panic! at the Disco on Pretty. Odd. (Fueled by Ramen) -
I'll Be Your Mirror by Velvet Underground, Nico on The Velvet Underground (Universal) -
Popular by Nada Surf on High/Low (Elektra) -
get well cards by Conor Oberst on self-titled (Merge Records) -
Mushaboom by Feist on Let It Die (Polydor) -
Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley on More Adventurous (Beaute/Brute) -
Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl by Broken Social Scene on You Forgot It In People (Secretly Canadian) -
They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From The Dead!! Ahhhh! by Sufjan Stevens on Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty) -
After Hours by The Velvet Underground on The Velvet Underground (universal) -
Blue Like Nevermind by Kimya Dawson on Hidden Vagenda (K) -
I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked by Ida Maria on Fortress 'round My Heart (mercury) -
don't tell me to do the math(s) by Los Campesinos! on Hold On Now, Youngster (Wichita) -
lost in the post by The Wombats on The Wombats Present...A Guide to Love, Loss & Desperation (14th Floor) -
Bring It (Snakes On A Plane) by Cobra Starship on While The City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets (Fueled by Ramen) -
la tortura by shakira on fijacion oral vol. 1 (sony) -
Burnin' Up by Jonas Brothers on A little bit longer (Hollywood) -
as you cry by the hush sound on goodbye blues (fueled by ramen) -
photograph by Weezer on Green Album (Geffen) -
In The Sun by She & Him on Volume Two (Merge) -
run by Vampire Weekend on Contra (XL Recordings) -
Bow Of Oranges by Bright Eyes on LIFTED or the Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground (Saddle creek) -
Azul by Natalia Lafourcade on HU HU HU (Sony Music) -
I'm Not Living In The Real World by Belle and Sebastian on Write about Love (Matador) -
My Manic and I by Laura Marling on Alas, I Cannot Swim (Virgin Records)